Shattered
by JenTWCSINYFAN
Summary: What happens when a firehouse has their unspoken leader and rock be seriously injured. The 55 squad finds out when what starts as a simple call turns into a nightmare for Billy Walsh.
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note:

This idea sort of came about with two people's help, Lee and Norma you know who you are, thank you both for getting this going. I'm sorry I hurt Billy . You probably were expecting DK right hee hee.. You two are awesome fans and friends and you rock!!

She watched the group of firefighters in the chairs as they paced and drank coffee and some sat in groups looking exhausted and worried, in short like they'd been through a train wreck today. She quietly inhaled and then walked over to them not sure if what she said would help or make it worse for them. She'd figured out that the man she had been in surgery with was someone important to them. She had seen the turnout gear that read Walsh before it had been removed. She swallowed for a moment before speaking. How did she tell them about their brother and friend when she didn't even understand it herself fully. How did someone do this to another human being. Why would you set explosives in a subway train for god sake. And now he had paid the price.

One of the group a rugged, dark haired firefighter looked at her with the look of someone who needed a lifeline so he didn't drown. He just looked shellshocked and then like he had been hit in the stomach. His turnout gear said Kitson and she put a hand on his arm gently before speaking. He smelled of a mixture of smoke, spice and something crisp and clean. It wasn't all that unappealing to her to be honest. More like a manly sort of thing that went with the profession they were in.

She said " I am Doctor Reynolds. I did some of the surgery on Lieutenant Walsh. Well I must say that he is one tough customer. He suffered smoke inhalation, a lacerated spleen which we removed and many broken ribs. He was impaled on a metallic beam which lodged in his lower back near his right kidney and the other surgical teams are removing that very carefully. He may or may not keep that one depending on the damage to the area and infection. He has a long night ahead of him and then will be in the intensive care unit when he is finished in surgery. I am very sorry if this is a lot to take in right now but I wanted you to hear the truth or at least his status from me. " " His face will be swollen from medication and trauma and he is bruised from head to toe also. " "If you have any other questions please have a nurse page me and I'll be glad to answer them."

The firefighter that she was standing closest to spoke. "Will he live or?" He couldn't finish the sentence just looked at the floor for a moment.

The doctor answered. "Well he was a fighter before he came in here so that's in his favor but he is touch and go at the moment. He needs a lot of surgery and then time will tell. Saying a prayer or two wouldn't be a bad idea right now though."


	2. The Fight Begins

Borrowed the doctors name in this chapter from Mark Greene on ER. Always liked him and Anthony Edwards who portrayed him for nine seasons..

Operating Room Four: The critically injured firefighter was still on the table. It had been roughly three hours since he was brought in and the less complicated parts of the surgery had been finished. They were removing the metallic pole from his lower back when his blood pressure took a dive. One of the other doctors, Doctor Greene said "He's got a bleeder back here, The kidney is lacerated and has a burst blood vessel." He took it out carefully and cauterized the place where the blood was coming from.

One of the nurses said" His BP is still falling, we should stop this until he's more stable."

Doctor Greene said " He needs to be closed up and cleaned out, these fragments could cause him an infection and he's weakened from blood loss already." He took most of the metal substance that he could see out of the wound before irrigating and then closing it. "He's got a ruptured disc back there that needs removed but we can't do it right now. Maybe in a few hours."

The other doctor that was in there said" I'll get it, if he goes south again them we stop. I don't want him to get paralyzed with everything else that he's got going on. The guy needs one thing in his corner."

Then she carefully managed to remove the bad disk and sew him up without any additional stress on Billy's body.

She said" Has anyone updated the firefighters out there on their friend, they must be very worried if they are there in that group that we saw."

Doctor Greene said " Well have one of the nurses do it outside, we need the team intact in here with him , this is going to be a hell of a dance here before us."

Two hours later: Billy began dreaming . He saw a fuzzy white light and then heard his father. He saw him in his firefighter dress blues like when they had laid him to rest fifteen years before. His father spoke "Bill, it's nice to see you son. You look good, so you followed in my footsteps after all. I thought you'd turn away from it after I well was taken. "

Billy said" I wanted to do it for you and for myself, I love the job, work with a great bunch of guys in my house. They are family. Needed it in my life to keep me straight. Then mom well she couldn't handle things with you so well. Drank a lot. I ended up staying with friends mostly and then got out on my own. "

His eyes welled up. "I wish that you were here sometimes when I need to have a leader. The guys on my squad turn to me for support and all and deep down I need that myself . I can't be everybodys hero you know."

His father patted his shoulder. "I know son. But I'm proud of you and what you've become. Don't give up on that yet. You'll be with me again just not now. Your friends need you to fight and go back to them right now so do that son for me. I love you and I'm always there for you. "

Then Billy saw the light fade and felt something warm come over himself like a blanket. He tried to lift his left hand but his body was too weak. He just laid there and heard other voices that weren't the squads and surrendered to sleep and something else peacefully again.

Outside in one of the chairs: The same dark haired firefighter waited in street clothes this time but he at least had been taken to the area near the operating room to keep his vigil. One of the nurses gave him a blanket and a pillow since he had kind of sprawled himself out on a lounge type thing. All they knew is that he was his best friend and that it had to be hell on him to wait for something encouraging. The surgical nurses made an unspoken pact among themselves to take care of him as well as his friend in surgery beyond the doors at the end of the hall. They knew how hard it could be to be here for hours on end. This was a hero in there and anyone who knew him was one too.


	3. What Is Family

An hour later: A man walked in dressed in khaki colored pants and an olive green colored dress shirt with matching tie. He went up to the nurses station in the waiting area near the operating room where Billy was. " Excuse me I was told that my brother William or Billy Walsh was in surgery and that I needed to be here as soon as possible. He had the same build and brown hair as Billy did but his eyes were blue unlike his brothers brown ones.

DK heard the man talking having just woken up from a nap and walked over. "I didn't know Billy had a brother and he tells me everything or did before today."

The man said" Well I knew that one day He'd end up in here like this, he had to follow our father into his career path and didn't care about the risks."

DK blinked. "Wait a minute, you're Shawn now I remember, you ungrateful little ass, he worked two jobs for you to get that fancy education and become the attorney that you are and did you thank him? Hell no, you just insult his job and his profession when he was hurt badly enough that he may never do it again." His hand had a hold of his shirt collar. " Get out of my face before I put you out a window ."

Then Joe Lombardo and Dan Logan came in. "Whoa DK , take a deep breath and let this guy go , hurting him won't make this situation any better for anyone."

DK sighed. " Well it would damn sure make me feel better putting a fist in his pretty face." He pulled himself away and said" You're not worth it Shawn, but I know your brother needs you right now so I'll back off , just keep yourself out of my way get me?"

Shawn nodded as DK moved down the hall a few feet to another set of chairs. Then he said" Wow is he always that intense? From what Bill said about him I thought he was pretty laid back most of the time not like this ."

Joe said" Well he and your brother are pretty tight, they are partners. Have been since they both came on the squad. So you can understand him being a little tightly wound just now. And the fact that they don't know if Billy's going to make it out of that Operating Room is hard on all of us. He's kind of the rock of our firehouse. Always there when you need a friend and a good leader."

Shawn blinked. " I had no idea. I mean he doesn't talk much about his job normally. But then our father was like that too, only on the bad days did he say things about what happened to our mom. He gave me money somehow for school without asking for it in return. He just wanted me to have what I wanted from life with no problems. Wanted me to go for my dreams whatever they were." Shawn sighed. "I never said thank you for that. And now they tell me that I may never get that chance." I hope he's going to fight this thing, I need him around a while yet."

Joe said" So do we man, so do we. Without him there in our firehouse there would be a big hole that nobody can fill ."

Logan said" And you know he'd kick all of our asses for counting him out like this before he started swinging. Billy's tough and he'll pull out of this one. It may not be overnight but he has it in him. I just think that he needs to hear it from everybody how much we need and appreciate him being around everyday. We take it for granted and forget to tell him that ."

Lombardo nodded. "First chance I get I am telling him that I promise you. "

DK listened to them talk from the corner. "I'm going to see if I can donate some blood for him. He may need it in the long haul, I'm a universal donor so anybody can use mine. I need to do something besides sitting here waiting and going crazy with what ifs and whys right now." He stood up and went to talk to one of the nurses and asked about giving blood for Billy and if it was possible.

Shawn said" How did this happen?" " Can any of you tell me that at least?"

Logan replied" Well we got a call about smoke in one of the subway terminals. At first it seemed like no big deal just one of the nuisance calls that we deal with everyday. We all checked the area and didn't really find anything but just an odor that could have been leaking fuel or just old parts wearing out. But then it happened. DK , the guy who just went to give blood and Billy were in one of the tunnels together. This fireball comes out of nowhere. They both ran out of the area together. DK made it unscathed. But then we heard the explosion. Billy was flat on his side with metal and concrete all around him and unconscious. Took us ten minutes to dig him out and get him to the paramedics. They told us he was impaled on a metallic beam much later when we got him here. We only heard him moan once and then he passed out. Which leads us to this point and us waiting like you."

Shawn sighed. " I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you talk about that. No wonder that DK is so upset, he probably blames himself for the whole thing. What's his real name?"

Joe said" Derek Kitson." His father was Derek Senior, he was killed in the line, FDNY too. So DK just got the nickname as a kid and it stuck. Only one who uses his real name is his mom I think and his sister Angie."

Shawn nodded. " Well I will make sure that my brother gets the best of care now. I owe him that much. I just wish a doctor would come out and tell me how he is but then I know that a serious case like his takes a very long time to fix. I just hope it won't be for nothing and that we have time for us left."

DK said softly. "We all do, Shawn , we all do." His left arm was bandaged where they had taken blood for Billy . He sat down wearily and ran a hand through his dark hair slowly. " Some days you just don't ever want to remember, this qualifies for me."


	4. Caught In A Wave

"All available surgeons to OR Four Stat, All available surgeons to OR Four Stat." All of the men waiting for status on Billy looked toward the doors at the end of the hall simultaneously. Each seemed to be thinking the same thing, not now and not him . They all held their breath as one wondering and hoping that things would be all right or at least better.

One of the doctor's , Doctor Burke said " He has a blood clot in his left lung people how did we miss this earlier. We need to get it out and fast before he goes in to respiratory arrest , let's move." He began to slice the left side of Billy's chest open carefully. "I need suction he's got a bleeder in here too. " One of the other doctors began to suction out the open area. His blood pressure was stable but he was breathing very slowly. The doctors hated putting people on respirators but they would have no choice until he healed and his lungs got stronger .

Billy felt that same warm feeling again and saw the same light . His mother who had bailed on the boys when he was nineteen was there in the room. " So Bill you went and banged yourself up nicely this time. I knew it would happen when you wanted to be like your father for a living. But then maybe if I had been less interested in Captain Morgan and more interested in you and your brother you'd be more willing to get angry and fight for yourself. Shawn needs you son. You were always his hero ." "Please don't leave him alone with nobody. It doesn't matter about me, I don't deserve you. "

Tears slid down Billy's face slowly as the doctors tended to him. One of the nurses said" He's crying." She wiped his face gently careful of the bruises and swelling in it. "I wonder what he's thinking of while he lays there or who."

One of the doctors said" Who knows. " Then they said" There it is, there is the clot, now he should feel much better." They still attached him to the respirator while he was under. It was easier that way most times than with an aware patient since they tended to fight.

One of the nurses said" I'm stepping out to tell the people waiting for him that the crisis has passed for the time being, they need to know that."

The doctors nodded. "Tell them what happened and that he'll be in the surgical Intensive care unit for a while across the hall. He's holding his own at the moment but he's got to go through a very long haul for a very long time. If he crashes again I don't know if we will be able to get him back. His body can't handle much more trauma right now then he's already taken today."

Then she came , the one person he didn't think he would see again in this life. Alex Taylor stood there near his left shoulder with her hand on it. " Come on Billy you can't give up, everybody needs you to help them through this. Where's the fighter I knew before, the one who was always there to help no matter what. You kept me from going under when I lost my father , don't you remember?"

" I'm here with you in your heart even if you can't see me. Please don't leave now."

Billy replied in a very tired weak voice. "I'm tired. I hurt all over, even if I'm everybodys rock sometimes I need to crumble. I can't help everybody all the time and be the one they lean on anymore, I'm exhausted."

Alex said" This isn't the Billy Walsh that I know. He's not a quitter about anything. Come on, you have a hard fight ahead of you but you can win. Be glad you're under anesthesia and not like me who got blown in half and felt everything of it. You can heal and recover, I couldn't."

Billy sighed. " You don't know how hard it was for me the day you went. I just kept seeing your eyes in my head, your smile and hearing you laugh. I never told you what I felt for you. I loved you Alex. But I never could bring myself to say it. Then we almost lost Johnson too. It just hurts too much inside me."

Alex blinked. "You are doing the one thing I hate most to me in the world, making me cry Billy Walsh. Don't please. Don't you want to be there and see DK have some kids and a wife? Or find someone of your own to love to give you a family too. I love you too and I need you to be all right so that the rest of the people I left behind can be." She touched his arm gently and then was gone..

His blood pressure began to improve slowly as well as his breathing. One of the doctors said" Looks like he has a few miracles left in him, god knows he needs all he can get right now to heal."


	5. Crashing Into the Rocks

An hour after the alarm had sounded for Billy's operating room, one of the surgeons came out. She pulled off rubber gloves tossing them into a trash can and then her surgical mask. Her part was finished for now, the rest was in other peoples hands. She saw the worried faces waiting for news on the firefighter and walked over to them. "Mr. Walsh is stable for the moment. He wanted some extra attention it seems and had a blood clot removed from his left lung. He is stable at the moment. But if he has another crisis then we don't know what will happen. He is on a respirator until his lungs heal from the smoke he inhaled and the trauma from the surgery resolves itself."

She looked at Shawn. "Your brother is also an organ donor by his drivers license. If it comes to that point do you agree with the process? I'm not saying it will but if he suffers another crisis again well we all just don't know if we can pull him back out of it. Take your time, no decisions have to be made right now. He Is in the recovery room and then we will move him across the hall to the surgical intensive care unit. If he has any other family or friends that want to see him, I would suggest them coming down here as soon as possible. His condition is in a very critical stage and you all will have to wear scrubs when you go into his room. He can't take even a minor infection at the moment. "

All of the guys looked at her and then themselves. DK said "I'm going in , I need to say a few things to him , tell me where the scrubs are please. "


	6. Swirling In The Foam

Later in Billy's room in the surgical intensive care unit. DK wore pale blue scrubs that a nurse had told him about and at first paused when he stepped inside. This pale motionless person in the bed with all the tubes and wires coming out of his body couldn't be his best friend and partner of the past ten years. It just didn't seem like it should be real . One hell of a nightmare.

He moved closer and kind of stood there at his side. At first he wasn't sure what to say but then the words began to come. "So you had to have some attention did you Walsh? You surely did that my friend today. Have some very pretty female doctors and nurses all worried about you and running in circles. Shame you don't feel well enough to take in all the attention from them."

"Seriously Billy , you have to fight this brother . I can't imagine breaking in a new partner at this stage of the game. You were my second one remember after I had Steve Matthews the first year with the squad. I watched him retire with his knee injury . Who would pick on me about the petrified socks in my locker on clean out day if you weren't there. I need to hear your laugh again. Or you ribbing me about the coffee cake that the old ladies down the block bring by every week. Something that let's me know you hear me. "

"My chili with extra cheddar cheese on football Sundays. So many memories with you in them. You're the brother I didn't have by birth . I don't know if I can do it if you're not in the firehouse anymore, or hell if you're not in my life. Thank you for being the friend that you are to me . You've always been my voice of reason and just so steady by my side. I love you man and I don't care if that's not the tough macho firefighter thing to say. You better get your Irish temper up in that bed and start fighting ok. Too many people need you around for you to give up. "

DK sighed and stood there watching the blips on the monitor go up and down . He hated it when these rooms were so quiet. Reminded him of watching his mom at the end of her battle with cancer. Billy had been there then too. He'd just let DK yell, and sometimes even cry without a word. Just stood by and listened to him . He wondered if he had ever really done that for his friend. He made up his mind at that moment to never take anyone for granted in his life again. He reached around his neck and unclasped the medal that he wore. Saint Florians . He normally never took it off for anything or anyone. Then he bent down and put it around Billy's neck gently. "You hold on to that for me all right, when you're better you can give it back. I don't need it right now as much as you do. " He looked at Billy's face and saw a tear slide down one cheek. He said" I'll be back later, they don't want us in here too long right now , besides you're sleeping anyway and probably won't even know we were here huh?" Then he looked once again and moved toward the doorway of the room.

He stepped out side and sighed as he sat in a chair. "That was by far the hardest thing I ever had to do in this lifetime other than letting my mom go. It's not him, just looks like this person on these wires and things. Listening to them bleep is hard as hell. I need to go home now or go and see my sister. I'll come back in a few hours , I'm just fried here guys."

Lombardo said" Go ahead man, take all the time you need. We have your cell and we will call you if anything changes. And remember that we are all in your corner on this when you need us to be. This is your fight too."


	7. A Brother Remembers

After DK had returned, Shawn went in to spend a few moments with his brother. He like anyone wasn't really prepared for the sight that he was taking in. He stood there for a moment then moved to an empty chair near the head of the bed. He said" Well big brother, you wanted me to pay attention and so here I am. I wanted to tell you thank you. For helping me get my education and have my dreams happen. I never knew until today that you were working two jobs so that I didn't have to worry about the money to pay for classes or my apartment rent. Knowing you you would say that it was just what family does. You became both mom and dad for me and still had your own life happening."

"Did I ever tell you how scared I was on 9/11? I didn't know if you were one of the missing or if you had been hurt. I just remembered you saying that if you were hurt badly someone would tell me, but only if you couldn't tell me yourself. Today I got that phone call. The one I always dreaded happening. You will have the best of care I promise you that and anything you want or need now. It's my turn to step up and be a better brother to you. I know those guys outside are also your family and I'm glad. I'm just ashamed that I thought we had all the time in the world for each other and it didn't matter if we went a while without talking. You gave me a big reality check today. You're not immortal and you won't be here forever. I just hope that you stick around a while and get those things you want for yourself. A wife and some family. You will be a great father, hell you raised me from seventeen on and I think I turned out pretty well. I don't even know if you hear me or if I'm getting through but I love you Bill. And I hope you come back even if you tell me about making you all sappy ." Shawn smiled slightly and touched his brothers hair. "You need a haircut, we'll have to see about getting you one, getting a bit long for FDNY regulation on the top ."

Then he sighed and walked out of the room to the hallway. He needed to make a few phone calls and see if he could do his job from here , his brother needed him and until he was out of danger Shawn would stand by him.


	8. A Friendly Touch

She couldn't believe it when she had opened the morning paper. And then she had come down to see him in the hospital. The doctors had made her wear these scrubs that did not flatter the female body in anyway at all. She was his next door neighbor in the brownstones they had in Lower Manhattan. Then she walked in and inhaled for a moment at the sight of him. They weren't kidding when they told her it was very critical right now with him. She sat down in the chair near his bed and pushed her wavy strawberry blond hair back to her shoulders.

"Billy I'm sorry that you were hurt like this. I can't believe someone would do that deliberately. It's Colleen from next door. I'll be glad to check your mail and feed Axe for you while you're well getting better. I know he misses his friend right now. He can even stay at my place so he's not lonely in yours. I promise that we will have our Saturday night Chinese fest again when you are better, even if I need to bring the food in here. " She gently rubbed his arm as she spoke. "Hmm your skin is getting dry, I might have some hand lotion somewhere that may help with that. " She rummaged in her coat pocket and found a tube of vanilla and pulled it out . Then she gently began to rub it on his arms and hands for him. "Now at least you won't well feel all scaly for a little while. " She smiled at him slightly.

"I don't know if I ever told you but you have beautiful brown eyes. A woman could get lost in them honestly. But there is time for that later. Right now you concentrate on getting better for everybody who cares about you. I never imagined when I moved into apartment 434 B that I'd find a friend like you next door. A lot of people don't want to get too close to police officers, let alone detectives like me. But you were different. You were friendly and open right from the first time we met. Though it was slightly embarrassing for me when I dropped that container of eggs on the stoop. "

"You just helped me clean them up and then got us pizza that night. I haven't been able to eat anyones but Paulie's now when I go out with friends. You got me addicted to that I think. I bet you never knew how many lives you've touched before now. I want to see you realize that. Don't worry about your apartment or anything but you. "

She gently leaned down and kissed his forehead. He smelled of an odd mix of smoke, spice and the hospital odor in the room. It was appealing. She wondered about a softer pillow for him and some different blankets. She could bring some from his place so he felt more at home . That's what she'd do on her next visit.

She looked at him one more time and then sighed softly . He was such a good man. She wanted to find whoever had hurt him and make them pay for it. That would be the best gift she could give right now to him and his family. She'd nail this son of a bitch personally if it was the last thing she did. Nobody hurt one of Colleen Reilly's friends without a damn good explanation why ..


	9. Positive Steps

Grace Foster- Finney stood there in the room and blinked. This had to be a joke. No way was this body in this bed Billy Walsh. She had heard the news on the morning broadcast and had been stunned as she listened. He was tough though she knew that. But seeing him here so helpless made her wish she'd been there that day to help him. Even if it hadn't mattered much . She saw that his blanket had moved lower on his body and she just pulled it up gently over him.

"I'm sorry Billy. I wish that I'd been there to help you that day. Why did someone do this to you for no reason. You were just helping people out there like any other Monday afternoon. It's Grace by the way. I wanted to tell you that Brendan and I are having a baby. If it's a boy I'm going to have William as the middle name. So you'd better get better so you can meet our son or daughter in roughly six months. I'd also like you to be their godfather along with Ty Davis. That is if you'd like to be. You can let me know later. "

She smoothed his hair down. "I know that your hair gets rumpled when you've been sleeping , like DK's stands up on end. I think I need to see how he's doing with this one, can't be easy for him. I'll take care of everybody for you while you're hurting. I owe you that much since you did it for us how many times over the years. Just please stay around . I can't imagine my world without knowing you're in it . You're a more reliable brother than my own and I love you for that. I can just hear you saying, don't go soft on me Grace now."

"Too late, these hormones do that when I least expect it. Just get some rest and come back to fighting fires. I swear I am having a welcome back party for you to end all of them. "

His hand moved slowly toward her and touched hers. It was very light but something.

She said " You can hear me , then? I have to tell your doctor that your hand moved. It's a good thing and not a muscles spasm, I know you want us to know you are listening. Just keep trying and the rest of you will come back." She gently hugged him and went to find his doctor to tell him what she'd seen.


	10. Is It Hopeless

The doctor went into Billy's room after Grace had told him she had seen his hand move after talking to him. He said" Billy it's Doctor Miller, if you can hear me talking to you move your hand like your friend saw you do before." He waited and there was nothing. Then he said" It was probably most likely a muscle spasm that you saw, his coma is pretty deep at the moment and he has been in a great deal of trauma as you know over the past 36 hours. But I also believe that people being in here and talking to him is not a bad thing. He needs to know people are concerned about him and want him to get better. "

" Right now he doesn't have much fight in him and I don't know how to motivate that and get him to turn the corner and begin to recover."

Grace sighed. "Thank you doctor I'm sorry I got you to come in here , but I still believe that he moved his hand when I talked to him. I'll be back to visit him again and I know other people will be in and out of here too. And he will come back , he is just hurting right now and needs time. You don't know him like we do doctor with all due respect. "

The doctor nodded and went back out of the room to check on other patients. Sometimes people were so hopeful that they saw anything they wanted to see.

Grace stood at Billy's bed for a moment. "I know you moved your hand Billy and that you were too tired to do it again for the doctor. You're in there and you hear us talking to you. You just need some more time to get things together again and respond." She touched his arm. " Take whatever you need to do that." "I'll be back later all right."

Billy's breath slowed down a moment as she left the room. This was beyond frustrating for him. He'd wanted to do something and when he thought he had it wasn't even appreciated . Maybe it didn't matter if he fought to come back. Everybody said they needed him and yet he was powerless over his own body to even lift a hand. Was he going to lay in a bed for the rest of his life . He'd sooner be gone than that if it meant this was the alternative.


	11. Light and Dark Places

Later that same day: Billy had fallen back into sleep after some alertness for a while or what he thought was alertness. He started to dream and then saw the same white light he'd seen before and felt a warm breeze. Then he saw himself walking by a clear pool of water slowly. He stood there and listened to the water make a soft noise against some rocks. Then he heard something barking softly. There it was his boyhood dog, Rover the mixed breed that his father had brought home from the firehouse. Someone had just left him there near where the engines parked. He petted him gently touching the brown and white coat of the terrier. He'd often wondered what had happened to him and here he was again.

A few minutes later a little girl with red pigtails came up to him. "You were the firefighter who tried to save me. I know I shouldn't have hidden under my bed but I was scared. You got me outside though I had too much smoke . I always wanted to thank you for that and now I can. Please don't leave down there yet. You're not supposed to be in this place. There will be a turn for you but it isn't now. People need you and love you. I'm at peace now and I like it here. You will get better, it just takes time. "

Billy looked at her for a while and then was quiet. "Thank you I'll try ."

The little girl smiled at him and then moved off with a puffy cloud. He felt himself falling in his sleep and didn't know his heart rate was accelerating on the monitors.

There was a dim, filmy light around him later . This place felt cold and somewhat musty and kind of eerie. He looked and he was in a room with no windows to let light in. A man was there in a black hooded sweatshirt type thing. He had his face partially hidden and he moved toward Billy in the room. " So there you are , Walsh wasn't it? You were with those firefighters who put out that fire I set in the older apartment building in Queens a few years back where the people died. You were so upset that day, said you hoped you'd see whoever did this in hell. Your squad worked for what fourteen hours nonstop trying for a miracle when there was none. That loud mouthed cop got me a few days later, Boscorelli was his name. I'm here because some guys shanked me in prison. Guess I deserved that for the lives I took, mine didn't matter all that much after anyway." "You however are a good person. Go back and fight for yourself, help more people , they need you, your friends need you. Don't come here ever."

A few minutes later , a nurse came in to check him and saw that his heart rate was a bit accelerated on the monitors above his bed. "Mr. Walsh you need to calm down, getting agitated isn't good for you right now. " She saw sweat had soaked the T-shirt he had on and then changed it. Her nametag read Norma and she was a very attractive brunette. She also wiped his face off with a soft cool cloth and lukewarm water. "There that's much better, you just relax. I would hate to tell the doctors they had to take you back into surgery again when you've been through so much." She patted his arm gently and fixed his blankets for him. "I'll be in later to see how you're doing Billy, just try and settle down for me please."


	12. An Old Friend Visits

He stood at the foot of the bed. Not sure what to do right now but well just be there. This couldn't be Billy Walsh in that pile of tubes and wires. It wasn't possible that he was this pale weak looking person had been one of his friends. Jimmy sighed. "So Billy you wanted me to get back here again, back to Camelot and the old days. Well you sure accomplished that didn't you? Only took getting impaled and beaten to hell to get the job done. It doesn't seem real though I had to put on goofy scrubs and all that stuff to come in here for ten minutes."

" You were always the silent soldier of the squad. Anybody else could have a crisis and yet they turned to you for an ear and sometimes good advice. Or just a laugh here and there when we had a bad night. Thank you for doing that for me. You helped me understand what a man was a bit too late and showed me what one was and should be."

He patted his left shoulder for a moment. Here was a born leader and a very steady presence . Even a brother to Jimmy since his own well wasn't in the picture right now.

"I don't even know if you hear me talking where ever you are . Probably thinking of a sandy beach in Jamaica with a pretty woman by your side on the beach. You should go when you feel better, you deserve the time off. I remember the Christmas Eve's you worked for me extra. You never complained, you just did it so I could spend time with Joey and Kim. Thank you for that. Hell thank you for being the firefighter and friend that you are. I admire you Billy. You're one of the truly good ones and I'm glad that I know you . Now do me a favor and start fighting this thing for us, huh? It's too quiet without your voice in the world."

Jimmy sighed softly and left. At least he had said what he needed to.


	13. Awakening ?

A week later: The doctors had talked and agreed to remove Billy from the respirator. So at least he could try to learn to breathe on his own again if possible. His lungs were clear enough and they felt that if he was able to breathe freely it might encourage him to heal in other ways that mattered. So the team took him into a vacant operating room and removed the equipment from him. He began to breathe slowly shortly after and coughed a few times. Then they took him back to the room he was staying in at the moment.

Shawn was there waiting to see how he did and looked tired. " Well now you can breathe on your own again Billy, that's a big step for you. I'll have to let your friends know at the firehouse, they have been here almost around the clock when they weren't working shifts."

Billy swallowed slowly. " Can I have some water?" His voice sounded lower than normal but then he hadn't talked in over a week now. He didn't really know where he was exactly either but that was from the pain medication and sedation .

Shawn said" Sure you can but take slow sips, your throat is going to be pretty raw for a while from the well respirator you were on. But you are going to be all right with time."

Billy nodded and slowly swallowed a little of the cool water. "So tired, feel like I can't sleep enough."

Shawn said" You've been in a coma for a week. Do you remember anything about what happened to you? It may take time to come back. The important thing is that you are fighting little by little. Too many people need you in their lives for you to leave, myself included."

Billy sighed. "I must be bad off then for you to look so scared. Tell me the truth, how did I get here and are the guys ok? I remember a tunnel and then being covered in cement and stuff and then its black."

Shawn said " For now why don't you get some rest and I'll be back later and tell you what happened if the doctors say it's all right, they need to check you over so I'll be right back. Just stay calm and relax, they don't want you upset at the moment Bill."

Billy sighed again. He hated this kind of thing , what was the big deal. He had gotten banged up apparently but nobody would tell him how bad. He felt lazy and wondered about everybody at work and all that as he laid there with monitors bleeping in the background of his room.


	14. Revelations and The Fallout

Raindrops could be heard outside the hospital room where Billy was . He looked toward the window and sighed. These type of days always kind of made him sleepy, or feel lonely when there wasn't a lady in his life. Then he heard footsteps enter his room. Highheeled black boots to be exact. He said " Colleen, hey what brings you here?"

She replied" I heard you were feeling better and wanted to come by. Brought you some homemade hot chocolate that the doctors say you can have if you go slowly with it. My day off and I wasn't in the mood to do laundry. "

Billy nodded. "Well I do like the company that's for sure. I was just feeling kind of sorry for myself and wishing I wasn't in here right now with the rain outside ."

Colleen nodded in return and poured him some of the hot beverage she'd brought into a mug that said FDNY. "I well borrowed this from your place when I was over checking your mail and things, Axe is settling in nicely at my place for the moment. I well gave it a good cleaning the other day too."

Billy replied" Thank you , when I feel better I am taking you to dinner one night for all of this I promise. You have really gone above and beyond. They told me you have been in and out different times when I was well out of it."

Colleen shrugged. "Here and there, like any friend and neighbor would do when someone they know is having a rough time ." " There is a city wide search on for the person who hurt you. We know it was deliberate and intended for a lot of people on that subway station. And I promise you I will get him."

Billy's face got pale for a moment as he listened to her. " I didn't even know what had happened to me before now and you're telling me someone tried to hurt me or my squad deliberately with innocent people that day. I can't deal with this right now ." He inhaled slowly for a moment. "I almost didn't come out of a coma and now this. I'm just supposed to calmly sit here and listen to all of this."

Colleen blinked. "I'm so sorry Billy I thought you knew, I thought one of your friends would have told you something about how you got here. I hate that I upset you and possibly set you back with your recovery. Please don't hate me for this, I couldn't take that ." Her eyes teared up as she stood slowly to move away from his bed. She looked into his deep brown eyes for a long silent moment and then sighed. "I don't blame you if you don't want me around you again for this after."

Billy ran a hand through his hair then over his face slowly. " Wait it's not your fault. I am just in shock. I don't really remember much other than a fireball hitting me and then waking up here a few days ago. Nobody has told me about how I got here or how badly I was hurt. Not even my brother who they said has been making all the decisions for me treatment wise. I would have thought people in my life thought more of me than that. I had a right to know damnit. Do me a favor and when you leave in a while ask my doctor to come in. I need to make some changes in my visitor list. You're staying on it but I don't know right now who else I want to see from my squad. I can't believe that DK wouldn't have told me what happened that day somehow. He was there in the tunnel ahead of me when it went down. "

Then he got very quiet and just faced the window and slowly sipped her hot chocolate. "That tastes almost like my mom made for me once before well we lost my dad, when she was still a mother. Those days I miss right now. I could really use her here to hug me and help me make sense of things." He looked down at the pillows on his bed for a moment.

Colleen said " I may not be your mom but I can hug you when you need it." She moved closer to him again and just gently put her arms around him and held him for a moment. She felt him relax in her arms and calm down again. She knew if he got too upset then she wouldn't be allowed in anymore to see him.

Billy pulled away after a short while. "Thank you I'm sorry I kind of flipped out on you just now. It's not your fault . Thank you for being honest with me and telling me and for caring about it enough to stay here. I need someone by my side while I heal and I want it to be you. I had a person once that was very special to me and I didn't tell her because I was afraid to risk it. And if I can have that again with you, I don't want to let it slip through my fingers again. "

Colleen smiled. "Thank you. I'll wait and I'll be right here for you I promise. But I think you need to get some rest for a while. I just dumped a pretty big rock in your lap and you need time to process it for a while. I'll ask your doctor to come in and I will be back later tonight. Enjoy the hot chocolate, I can always make more anytime for you."

She touched his face gently. "I like you unshaven, gives you a rugged look."


	15. Among The Wreckage

He parked across the street from the 55 firehouse. His car was pretty much not out of the ordinary. He was there to see what the people who knew Billy Walsh did on a daily basis since his injury. Who told him to go play hero that day anyway? And why was it such a big deal. He'd been hurt worse in his career with FDNY and yet it hadn't gotten nearly the attention or publicity that this guy had. But then that was always like Walsh even at the academy, had to show everybody up all the time. Highest test scores since his old mans, and just had to lift more in the physical tests too. Maybe he should go visit his old "friend" Billy and see how he was feeling. Relive some old memories with him and just maybe finish the job. If he had to hear that police lieutenant Swersky running his mouth one more time on the nightly news he swore that Walsh wouldn't be the only one getting a nasty surprise from him.

Then it happened. He saw the truck pull out of the bay and knew here was his moment. There was always a door for the paramedics that was open when the guys were out on calls. He could slip in and out. Yep Zach, you are damn brilliant. They would never see it coming when they weren't home.

He got out of his car and casually strolled across the street, popping the hood so it appeared he had broken down and then pretended to be talking on his cell phone in case anyone spotted him, like the cops next door. He went inside and then started to systematically start trashing the place. He broke dishes on the floor of the kitchen and turned over chairs and the table in the process. Then he saw them a framed picture gallery. How sweet, Walsh was in every damned one of them. Hmm Hot blonde beside him looked more than friendly Billy boy. He shattered the glass covered frame on the floor as well. When he turned it right side up he cut his hand on the glass and dripped blood. He took a finger and wiped it off not knowing he also left a print behind. He then took a deep breath and smiled to himself. I hurt your body, now let's see how I hurt their minds if they mean that much to you..


	16. Glass Shards And Blood Loss

Later a weary and soot covered group of firefighters returned to their home away from home along with the paramedics. The last call had been a tough one and they all just wanted to unwind and get hot showers. DK went up the steps and said " Who the hell was in here last? Someone trashed the whole upstairs, even smashed pictures of Alex Taylor and Lieutenant Johnson. It looked sickening and also unnerved them.

Lombardo said" I'm going to get the cops, don't touch anything in case there is a trail to who did this in here."

Stu shrugged and rolled his head around slowly to crack his neck. "Lombardo's been watchin CSI again."

Logan sighed. This was his home of fifteen years and someone had done this now. He wanted to find them before the police did.

DK said" I'm getting us inactive, we will have to be until the police get done , go change and go home everybody, I'll hang around and wait for them."

Kim said "I'm staying too, I want to know what happened and why. Is it someone after Billy? All the pictures that were broken , he was in them. Maybe someone should go over to the hospital and make sure he is all right ."

Stu nodded. "I'll go down with JD later and see how he is. I don't think anyone should tell him this right now though, he could still have a setback and he's pretty weak yet ."

JD said "You're right, this waits for now, after he's stronger then someone tells him about it, not now."

DK sighed and dialed the police precinct and asked for Swersky or whoever was working that night. Why was someone doing this to them? Wasn't it enough that Billy was almost taken out , now this sick game. Some nights just sucked to be acting lieutenant.


	17. A Hand Up From the rubble

An hour later: Everyone had showered and cleaned up their lockers, getting personal gear. Then they headed outside to various vehicles and into restaurants. A cold wind began blowing through the neighborhood with a soft moaning sound. It was the middle of January . Rumor was it that snow would fall in a few days but it had been freakishly warm this year so far in New York.

Stu said " I'll leave my car here and get it later, not like there would be anyone dumb enough to do anything with a million cops all over the place."

JD said "We can use my truck." They both got in and headed toward the hospital to see how Billy was and just to insure his safety. Little did they know that Swersky had ordered guards posted and Maritza Cruz had offered to take the first shift personally.

DK had showered in his office and changed in to FDNY sweats and a baseball cap. This was going to be one long night it appeared. He had just sat down on his couch when Kim walked in.

She said" So here we are." A scent of something coconut wafted into the room with her. It was nice and for a moment made his office smell a little better.

DK said" Yeah here we are. What is this Kim? I mean you were there that night at the bar after I left the hospital and listened to me talk. What are we feeling now? I know I needed someone to keep me together for Billy , but where is this going?"

Kim looked at him and took a deep breath. "I listened that night because you're my friend DK, you always have been. Recently though I have been seeing you differently. I want to see what we can have if we try this but slowly. Is that all right for now?"

DK nodded. "That's fair and all right, slow it is." Just then there was a knock on his office door. Jelly stood there and said" Some mess you got Lieu, and right on top of Walsh bein out too, sucks royally."

DK sighed "Yes it does, just find out why someone did this and how they got in here. If my house has to be down indefinitely I want them caught."

Faith said" We'll get them , DK that's a promise."

Kim said" Someone violated our home and we don't like that very much. Can you be careful with the pictures though? They may look like just paper to you but they are special to us here and have family in them."

Faith said "I'll treat them like they were ones with my kids in them." She moved to start working on the damaged area.

DK sighed. "I feel helpless."

Kim said " You've been through a lot lately, I'm here and I'm not bailing."


	18. Yet Another Bump

At the hospital later: Stu and JD were waiting outside Billy's room. The doctors were changing his bandages from his operation and just checking him over in general. They came out and made notes on charts as they did. One of the two doctors commented to her friend "That is one tough customer in there, lesser men would have folded long before this."

The other doctor said" Well from what I understand wimps don't join FDNY ."

JD smiled . "Guess Lieu is doing ok or better than ok."

Stu nodded. "Well that's something good, now maybe DK will get some sleep for a change, he's getting run ragged with all of this stuff lately." Then he stood up to enter Billy's room and noticed Sgt. Cruz standing outside the door with coffee in her hand.

JD said" Maritza." His eyes then went to the floor again quickly.

She replied" I'm here because well let's just say it seemed right to be and no I didn't tell him, that's up to one of you to do. So someone trashed your firehouse today?"

Stu said "Yes they did and we don't know if we are going to tell him, though he seems to be doing a lot better than when he started out in here."

They walked inside closing the door behind them.

Billy said"Ok, so what's with Cruz being outside my door? I'm not stupid, I know something happened since she's not exactly a fan of mine personally or anything and keeping a watch isn't her style."

JD sighed. "Well we weren't sure about telling you this before you talked to well DK. But here it is, someone broke into the house earlier today and trashed it. Smashed a bunch of pictures with you in them and stuff. Now they don't know who did it yet, detectives are still working the place. They might have gotten a fingerprint from the guy. The guards are from Swersky ."

Billy sighed and rubbed one of his bandages for a moment. "You're telling me someone wrecked my home and now I'm under police protection because of it? Who hates me that much to want to hurt what I love the most? " His face got a bit pale as one of his wounded areas throbbed slightly. Then he was quiet and looked out the window.

Stu said" We weren't sure whether to tell you or not, it was supposed to wait until you came back to work again or until you saw DK. But well it just happened, I hope you aren't angry with us."

Billy sighed. "No I'm not. I just feel like everything in my life that I hold dear is being pulled away from me right now. My body that has never let me down was badly hurt and I almost lost my life and now someplace that I always felt safe in was violated. Kind of like being raped in a way, nothing is real and permanent. You guys can find the way out, I need to think right now about some things. Tell everybody I'm fine and I miss them even Lombardo snoring on a nightly basis ok."

Both of the younger firefighters looked at each other and sighed. That had not gone well, they hated themselves for kicking him when he was down but even worse they were angry at the person who had made them inflict more pain on their friend when he'd had more than enough for himself lately.


	19. Dealing with Reality

The lounge near the ICU. Two hours after JD and Stu had visited. Billy had asked to be allowed out of bed and even let himself be placed in a wheelchair . He was sitting there looking at some fish in the aquarium and watching the people below on the street going by as they came in and out of the hospital. He sat there for a while just thinking when his brother entered.

"So you're out of bed, you must be feeling better", Shawn commented.

Billy said" I just wanted a change of scene. I heard something earlier that I'm still trying to process . There is a guard on my door so let them know who you are when you want in my room. Someone trashed my firehouse today and they think it was the same person who did the explosion that I was hurt in. They have a vendetta against me and I have no clue who it is or why. I just wish I could get out of here you know, but that's a few weeks away yet. My leg needs to heal more so I can stand up."

Shawn nodded. "I'm sorry. I know how much you love your job now and that firehouse. I can have someone look into it if you like, I have some friends in the crime lab who may help out."

Billy replied" Well I just wonder why people keep treating me like I should be wrapped in cotton right now. Yes I know how seriously I was hurt and everything but I also need to know what's happening in the world while I'm in here. I can't just be wrapped in a bubble all the time while I heal." He sighed softly.

Shawn said" I'm sorry I just wanted you to focus on yourself, and I realize now that you not knowing things about where you work or whatever was the wrong way to go about it. The fire department is in your blood and if I take that away, you are missing something that is a part of yourself."

Billy nodded. "They were my family, still are. Not that you aren't, but it's different. I just get so frustrated being in here and feeling cut off from everybody. Hell DK hasn't been in in a week or more. I know he's acting lieutenant but five minutes to see how I'm doing." His head lowered for a moment.

Shawn replied " I'll go by there and see if I can talk to him or use the number in your cell phone. I don't know why he hasn't been around. And I just hope that this won't stop you from fighting. People need you Bill, hell I need you."

Billy sighed softly. "Mind helping me get back to my room? I think I need to lay down for a while and I don't feel like very good company right now."

Shawn nodded . "Sure big brother, I'll even help you get back into bed. I'll be back later with some pizza for you instead of that excuse for dinner that they try and make you eat. Extra cheese and black olives right?"

Billy said" Yeah that's how I like it, but only Luigi's down on 45th."

Shawn chuckled. "Like I would order from any other place."


	20. Even the Strongest Ropes Fray

"So Lieutenant Kitson , getting cozy in my office these days? I tried to keep it pretty neat and tidy." Those were the words that greeted DK when he walked into Billy's room.

DK blinked. " Well you know it's only covering until you're back on your feet. I don't want it permanently. And what's with you today? That was downright cold just now."

Billy replied" Hmm let's see how about the fact that you haven't been sround in a while , and then I have to hear that somebody trashed the house from other people than you."

DK said "I wanted to tell you myself , but I guess you figured out something was up with the police outside your door. That was Swersky's call not mine. The gang from next door volunteered to take shifts for you."

Billy sighed. "I noticed, even Maritza Cruz showed up and she pretty much doesn't like me for letting JD Hart stick around the neighborhood with us."

"But why do you and everybody else think I need to be protected in here. I need to know what is happening outside these walls and getting tests done on a daily basis. I'm not fragile and I won't break into pieces if something happens."

DK said" So you're pissed at the situation and not at me then is that it?"

Billy said" I'm pissed because people keep treating me like some china doll all the time. I've been through worse before, lost my dad and then my mom wasn't available for me and Shawn. Not a problem, we both got what we wanted out of this life pretty much. So I almost died once big deal, I'm still here. I'll be fine. Just let me have my life again and not a shell around me that people put up."

Then Billy heard heels click into the room. Kim stood there and didn't look happy with him for some reason. She said " You have some balls Billy, DK has been busting his ass at both ends trying to be up to your standards and also to figure out why someone trashed our home. He comes down here to see you after a while away and you jump all over his ass. Wow if that's what you call being his best friend who needs enemies. It has been tearing him apart thinking of you in here and this is how you repay him by chewing him out the first chance you get." She exhaled with a low huffing sound.

Billy blinked. "Well well, looks like my paramedic supervisor and the acting lieutenant are getting pretty tight. More power to you both, though I thought you were with Jimmy again these days Kim, what happened, Bed Stuy wasn't your thing?"

Kim blinked. "How dare you bring that up? You are Jimmy's friend Billy. It's not your concern."

Billy said" Oh ok so when he finds out about you two being together and comes to the firehouse to kick DK's ass then I'll stand by and say nothing. Whatever, I hope you're both very happy. " His back throbbed above where his kidney had been removed. His face went pale for a moment.

DK said" Whoa Bill are you ok? You don't look so good , kind of white."

Then Shawn walked in and saw that with the pizza for them. He said" Please leave both of you, obviously my brother is in pain, you can come back later , he needs his rest right now and some food."

Kim said" Well when he decides to act more like the Billy Walsh that we know and care about we'll be back but not before. " She looked at Billy one last time. "Take care of yourself Lieu."

Billy exhaled and felt the pain subside. "It was just a twinge, I got myself worked up and I shouldn't have. Guess I can't be getting excited just yet. Who cares anyway, maybe it's time I quit the department. I don't know if I want to go back out there again." He opened the pizza box and took out a slice slowly. "Still warm, good. I was missing this for a while."

Shawn blinked. "Uh ok but we are going to talk about what just happened in here with your friends at some point. Obviously something went down before I walked in here."

Billy sighed. "Can I just enjoy the pizza first and then we'll have a heart to heart about whatever you want."


	21. A Set Back On The Road to Recovery

Later that night: Billy was waiting for the usual evening medications and Shawn hadn't left yet. Then finally the silence in the room was broken .

Shawn said" So are you seriously thinking about leaving the fire department or were you just talking out of emotion earlier?"

Billy inhaled slowly. "I don't know if I want it anymore. I mean the fact that someone almost took my life from me has me rattled. And I don't even know who it is or why they wanted that. I just wanted to help people when I joined the academy. Plus I needed the money with you going to college and all and the benefits. That's done now. DK should have been Lieutenant anyway, he had two years in on that squad before I transferred into it. Had another partner who had to retire with bad knees. At first he really wasn't sure he wanted to break me in either to be honest, but yet he did it with no complaints."

Shawn said "Then I think you need to just have some time off and get out of here to rest. I know you don't use vacation or sick time unless you have a fever of 103. They told me since you're healing nicely they may move you off the floor here and into a regular room soon. It will be less restrictive for people to visit you or whatever that way. In a few more weeks you can even go home if you like and continue healing there. Your neighbor Colleen has been keeping your apartment clean and feeding your cat. She seems nice."

Billy said "Yeah she is. Could be something special if I'm smart enough to give it a shot this time. There was another woman that I could have loved but I was too afraid to go for it with. Alex was something. Tough as nails, female firefighter, dad was a battalion chief who we lost on 9/11. Man she was so brave then after until they found him. Worked every shift hard as hell and never even cracked one time. She inspired the guys at my house with her grace under fire let me tell you. And then she was gone. I can't talk about that day yet."

Shawn said" Well maybe that's a lot of what needs to heal yet. You haven't let yourself really feel her loss and until you do that, you can't move forward and find anyone new. I've been there myself, there was a woman I was seeing steadily who was lost in the North Tower. Worked at one of the finance firms in there. Teagan had the greatest laugh of anyone I ever met. And she was beautiful. I wonder what would have been sometimes. But then I also know she would have wanted me to have a complete life and find someone new."

Billy blinked for a moment. "So you went through your own stuff that day besides worrying about me and if I was all right . I'm sorry I didn't know your friend . But just go for it again." He paused. "Maybe I should listen to my own advice huh? I just need to be back on my feet physically before I can think about giving a woman anything. "

Shawn said" There will be someone for you. Don't give up and let this hold you back. You're kind, giving, have a huge heart and you work your butt off man. That's all very good in a womans eyes. Plus you love animals and kids. "

Billy smirked. " Yes true I do. " He yawned softly. "I'm kind of tired, mind if I sleep a while since the meds are kicking in. They told me they want a CT-scan tomorrow early to check over my back and all. So that will probably be at the crack of dawn."

Shawn nodded. "Get some sleep. I'll be at work for a few hours but the nurses have my cell phone number if anything happens."

Billy said" Ok I'll see you sometime tomorrow ,and nothing will just a bunch of pretty pictures of my body ."

The following morning: The nurses came to get Billy ready for his CT-scan and he coughed a few times. Some blood came out of his mouth and the nurses buzzed the doctor. "Doctor Reynolds to ICU 3 Stat."

The pretty brunette came in. " He's got a bleeder somewhere , get him to the OR stat and page Greene now. Looks like that CT will have to wait until we find where this bleeder is."

Billy got scared and his face paled a bit. Then the doctor said" "You'll be ok Mr. Walsh, we'll make it that way just hang in there for us. You're a fighter and you have hung in this far."

He said " My brother, call him. He needs to know about this." Then he was quiet as he rolled toward the Operating room again quickly.


	22. Almost An Ending

Operating room Four , later that morning: Doctor Mark Greene said" His abdomen is swollen and tender, how did we miss this the past few days. He carefully made the incision and found the bleeder. "He tore a muscle and it pushed on a blood vessel making it burst, but we'll get it fixed now so it doesn't happen again." He cauterized the bleeding area and applied suction to clean Billy's stomach out of the extra blood.

Then one of the nurses said" His pressure is dropping. 98/ 60. We should stop this or he'll crash."

Then Billy's heart began to get very slow. It actually stopped for a moment.

Doctor Reynolds said" He's crashing, get me the paddles now." She waited a second. "Charging to 200, clear." She gave Billy a jolt of electricity then. No response from his system. She said "Charging to 300, clear." She jolted Billy again and got a rhythm back. "Phew that was a close one with him. We need an EKG after this along with that CT stat."

Doctor Greene replied "He's all sewn up, I just need to get this sterile dressing on him and then he can be moved. Though if he crashes again we may not be able to bring him back. Even though he was in good shape before all of this, his body may not be able to take anymore trauma. " He sighed. " I want him watched for the next twenty four hours and limited visitors , family only for the time being. He will be out of it for a while and I want him kept quiet and still if possible."

The nurses nodded. It had been a long road for this firefighter already and he had handled it with flying colors. Now this happened. They hurt for him since he had for the most part been a really decent patient to them, not complained much or anything. They wheeled him back to his room in the ICU and began to each take their turns sitting with him and checking on him. They knew his brother would be here when he found out but they also had that firehouse number and thought they had better tell people there too about this.

One of the nurses, Jessie Townsend picked up the phone and dialed. Some one on the other end answered "Squad 55."

She said" This is Nurse Townsend down at Angel Of Mercy and I wanted to let you know that Lieutenant Walsh suffered a setback this morning. He had bleeding in his abdomen which we did surgery on. Then in the process his heart stopped briefly but we brought him back. He's extremely critical again and I wanted to update you if you wanted to visit or think good thoughts for him."

The voice replied " Thank you for letting us know, I'm JD Hart and one of his coworkers. I'll tell everybody and make them aware of the change in his condition. We will probably be down later to see how he's doing ."

The nurse replied" You're welcome, I'm just sorry to be the bearer of bad news." Then she hung up.

JD said " Guys, that was a nurse down at Mercy. Billy took a downhill spiral. He had to have surgery this morning again, something was bleeding in his stomach. They said his heart stopped for a short time too but they got him back. He's critical again right now." He sighed after finishing the progress report."

Lombardo said" Damn I thought he was doing better, now this. How much more can his body handle lately. He sure has been through hell and back, and by the way anybody know why DK called in sick today, the day shift lieu Jenkins isn't real happy with him for that."

Carlos said" I don't know but Kim also isn't here either for some unknown reason, hmm wonder if, nah."

Stu said " What you don't think they hooked up do you? I thought she was still with Doherty and all ."

Logan said" Well who knows but somebody better find him and tell him what's happening. If Billy would get worse he'd be pissed that he wasn't there ."

Macnamara nodded. " This whole mess royally sucks. Right now we work this shift and then we either go down there or we call them later. His brother will no doubt be there, anybody know where to find him ?"

Lombardo shrugged. " Probably the number is in his office someplace. Though I wouldn't want to be in Shawn's place right now for anything , gotta be hell having to decide everything medically for someone you love."


	23. Time For Brothers

Two hours later: Billy began to stir in his room and felt like his body was heavy. But then he handled anesthesia that way most of the time. He mumbled "what happened" before going back under again.

The nurse who was in checking on him went out into the hallway. "Well he was just awake but he went back out again. Wanted to know what happened and we are still trying to figure that one out. "

Shawn said" That's what I'd like to know. He was well mostly all right last night when I left here and said he knew about the tests that he had today, other than some words with a few friends anyway."

The nurse said" I think you need to tell his doctor what might have upset him enough that he got hurt because of it. I'll page her for you." She got on the phone and paged Doctor Reynolds to Billy's room.

Shawn said "Some people were here from the firehouse where he works and there was a discussion. I walked in at the end of it with some pizza for us and told them to leave. I remember him looking a little pale but then once he settled he seemed all right again."

The doctor entered. "Hello Mr. Walsh, I'm sorry about this turn of events with Billy. He was doing so well prior to this morning. I don't know how we missed the torn abdominal muscle that caused his internal bleeding though."

Shawn said" If he got upset with someone would that make him possibly hurt himself physically without knowing why?"

Doctor Reynolds replied "It's possible , but who would have caused that. He's been very calm and even tempered with the nurses, even cracked jokes I understand a few times. Actually been a good patient considering his condition."

Shawn said " A guy who is covering his position as Lieutenant at his firehouse and this paramedic woman were here. DK something and Kim I think were their names. I don't know his coworkers that well yet, only seen a few of them at different hours visiting Bill."

The doctor said" Well for the time being I am going to have you look at a list of names and then whoever you circle will be allowed in here to see him. Anyone else unmarked is going to talk to me first." " I have some people who have called and asked about him at the desk at different times."

Shawn said" Thank you, I think that his health needs to be the main priority now and not how may people get in here and say whatever they want."

The doctor gave him her list and Shawn saw there were two groups on it , some NYPD people and some from his firehouse. He allowed the police access since they had been on guard duty for his brother. And a few of the firefighters and paramedics. The only names left unmarked were DK's and Kims for the moment.

Doctor Reynolds said" Thank you. You can sit with him and see if he stirs again, for the time being I am going to let the nurses know outside who can come in and who can't. He's going to be listed as critical to the general public until he is more stable. I'd like him calm and quiet if possible for the next 36 hours or so."

Shawn nodded. "That is the plan then I'll stay with him for a while ."

She stretched for a moment. "We'll make him feel better I promise you." Then she went out into the hallway to the nurses station to give them an update and the new rules for the time being .

Shawn sat there and said "So big brother you wanted more attention again? Have some pretty nurses and a doctor worried about you and how you're feeling. You scared me today, I thought you had given up on healing. "

He sighed softly. " But you will feel better again, this was just a little bump that you took. Just get some good rest and I'll be right here for you when you wake up. I need you to wake up for me and want to fight for me, you can beat this I know it."

Billy's hand moved over and touched his brothers for a second. There was a soft squeeze. And one tear ran down his face slowly onto the pillow.

Shawn said " Good you hear me, I knew it. I'll be right back, I need some air for a minute. You're not alone big brother , you have me now."


	24. Putting Himself First

Two Hours later: Billy began to wake up as the anesthesia wore off slowly. He blinked when he saw that he was back in ICU again and wondered why. Then he remembered some of what happened.

Shawn was there and said "Welcome back , you had another operation. One of your abdominal muscles got torn and burst a blood vessel, then you crashed but they got you back again."

Billy sighed softly. "You mean I almost died again. How much more can my body handle? Haven't I been through enough lately?"

Shawn replied "More than your share for sure. But you'll be all right now, you just need to get some rest and then you'll feel much better. I uh made some changes to your visitors list, the doctors wanted only family in here for the time being. I did let the guys in that you work with and your police friends from your precinct. Just not the people who upset you in the first place and caused this."

Billy blinked. "They think it was because I had that argument with Kim and DK that this happened? Maybe it was . It doesn't matter, they won't be around for a while anyway. I just want people to tell me what is happening now and then. I mean I am in here and it feels like I'm cut off from everything I knew before that bombing happened. "

Shawn said" Well then that's fair , I admit that I just wanted you to get better and concentrate on yourself for a while . I know that you are very important to your squad, they have told me several times about that. But sometimes you need to be a bit selfish and put yourself first for a little while."

Billy shrugged. "Maybe you're right. I have always been the rock that everybody could lean on when they had their own problems or got hurt. Now it's my turn to think about getting better and getting out of here. Someday I know I'll go back but not just yet. I want to be lazy for a change. Not be the first one into the firehouse or at my desk forever. Let someone else worry about that for a while. They haven't told me how long it would be before I could go back anyway. I don't even know if I want to ask that question."


	25. Going Home and a Surprise Guest

Two weeks later: Billy was allowed to go home having just gotten the cast off of his leg the day before. The doctors had said he could return for his physical therapy on an outpatient basis now and then discharged him with the usual medication and orders to take it easy. He had to wait another month at least before they would talk about him returning to the firehouse at all in any capacity.

**He was being wheeled out in a wheelchair which he hated but agreed to in order to get home to his apartment again. Colleen had come to take him home since Shawn had a trial that he couldn't miss at the moment. He was laughing quietly at something his neighbor and recent girlfriend said as DK came up the hall out of the elevators. **

**DK said" So you're going home then, nice to know that. What's with the freeze out Walsh?" **

**Billy replied "The last time I saw you I had to have surgery again. So I decided to put myself first for a change, believe it or not. Even the rock of the squad gets tired of being there for everybody else now and then."**

**Colleen said" You need to stay calm Billy, especially now that they are letting you go home and everything. I would hate to see you have a setback today of all days."**

**DK blinked. "Whoa sister, I don't even know who you are. No wonder you don't want to see me Billy, you had surgery after the last time and I did that to you? Damn that explains a lot."**

**Billy exhaled slowly. " First, she is my neighbor and recent girlfriend Colleen Reilly. Second, I really don't feel like a big discussion right now. I'm going to be out another month or so it seems. If you want to let someone else handle being lieutenant then I'll talk to downtown. "**

**DK just looked at him. "You aren't the Billy that I know. I am not even sure who you are right now, sure as hell not my best friend and partner for ten years now. But whatever, feel better Lieu, and who knows when you get back your seat may still be nice and toasty warm for you."**

**He walked back to the elevators then without a backward glance.**

**Colleen touched Billy's hand gently. "Are you all right? That couldn't have been easy just now for you to say or have happen."**

**Billy replied" I'm actually feeling like there was a weight lifted off of my shoulders just now. That was DK or Derek Kitson, he's my partner or was before well you know. Now he's covering my slot as lieutenant at work. I don't even miss that responsibility. I just want to enjoy my downtime and get healed properly. I haven't had vacation in years, even been known to work through the flu and stuff. "**

**Colleen said" Then why don't we get you home and settled in your own bed. I know that will help do wonders for your recovery. Well that and a hot shower."**

**Billy smiled at her. "Sounds good but I am ordering dinner in from somewhere, I was feeling like some Chinese food."**

**Colleen nodded. "Sounds good to me, something low key where we can chill out. "**

**Billy said"Exactly." He stood up when the chair was in the elevator door. "What the doctors can't see won't hurt them. I need to move again now that I can."**

**Colleen smiled. "Hmm sounds to me like someone just is tired of patient mode, can't say I blame you."**

**Billy nodded. "That I am, now I want to go back to being me again for a while if possible."**


	26. Physical and Mental Healing

Two hours later: Billy had had a hot shower at his apartment for the first time in weeks and even a shave. After Chinese for dinner and cold Coke he'd gone to bed to lay down for a while. His energy level was pretty good but not quite up to par. He felt his cat Axe jump up beside him as he drifted off hugging one of his pillows in his arms.

Then the dream began. He saw himself in a dark and narrow hallway. He could smell smoke as he moved along with engine fuel from the subway station they were in. He was moving forward to see if he could find the fire that they had been called to fight when it happened. A loud rumble and then an explosion. Then he saw himself fly through the air and land on something as cement and other stuff crumbled around his body. He then began to wake up and yelled "No, not now." He sat up sweating and then looked pale as he held his blankets in his hands.

Colleen heard him yell from the kitchen where she was doing some dishes and said" Are you ok, I heard you yell in the kitchen. You're soaking wet with sweat honey." She moved to sit on the bed near his feet and just gently touched his arms.

Billy said"I had a dream about that day, I remember some of what happened to me, how I was hurt. I couldn't move and it was totally black , then the explosion."

Colleen just held him. " I'm here and you're safe with me, maybe you need to talk to someone though if you keep having this dreams, it's not good for you to not be able to sleep while you're healing."

Billy sighed. "Maybe you're right. I'll ask the doctor when I have therapy about seeing someone to talk. Right now I need a fresh shirt for one thing." He stood up slowly and went to his dresser drawers. He pulled out a faded Yankee t-shirt and then pulled off the FDNY one he was wearing. "There that is better."

Colleen said" It looks like you could use some laundry done, I'll go throw a load in for you."

Billy nodded. "Thank you I am going to do something special for you when I'm better I promise."

Colleen said" All I need is you being around Bill, nothing more right now."


	27. Away From Home

A few hours later: Billy got up out of bed and moved to the living room window seat. He had put it in himself shortly after he'd adopted Axe . The cat liked to lay there in the sun sometimes and just nap or play with toys. He sat there on the dark gray material that covered it and just looked out the window. Normally at this time of day he'd be heading to work and probably washing the truck with the other guys or something, maybe even locker clean out day.

His mind drifted back in time to a few months before. He saw himself tossing stuff into a garbage bag from his locker. Mainly old socks and things. Then he saw a folded piece of note paper. Oh yes, Mandy the girl he'd met at the bar. She was an attorney across town with the DA's office. At first they'd gone out for a while and he'd liked her. But then he'd been late to this picnic her office was having after a double shift that ended that Saturday morning. She'd been fine towards him in front of people she worked with but then when he was taking her home she had ended it.

She just wanted the status of being "with" a firefighter, not the real thing and the real relationship and working at it.

He sighed and figured she was with another attorney by now and liked his nine to five world better.

Colleen walked out with some of his pain meds and said" Bill."

He said" Huh?"

She said" You were a million miles away just now it's time for your pain meds and I need to check your bandages."

Billy nodded and lifted his shirt for her after swallowing the pills slowly with a bottle of water that she handed him.

She said"Is it hard for you to not be working and be away from your squad right now?" Her hand was on his arm as she talked.

Billy replied" I just find myself having a lot of old memories right now , guess that's normal. I've been doing this since I was twenty after a try at college, majored in business law believe it or not. Wasn't my thing, and then I tried out for the department and made it. Been fourteen years now."

Colleen nodded. "My parents wanted me to be anything but a police officer. So I attempted nursing school for a semester and then they knew I was miserable. My dad was retired NYPD and got me in to the next class at the academy. And here I am detective now. Some days I can hate the job and then others I wouldn't do anything else."


	28. Human Touch

Billy nodded. " Some days I love the job and then some when we have a really bad night it hurts. It gets in your blood after a while. I remember after September 11th, how the neighborhood came to our firehouse. We had so much food and baked goods form everybody, then there were the candles out front and pictures. Little kids made us all these cards and pictures too. It was unbelievable really. I still have one of the blankets that an older lady made for us at the foot of my bed. It's the one that is made with fleece material. She made all of those for every squad. Her son Christopher Jennings was one of us, he didn't get to go home that day. She handed us all one from this huge bag and then hugged us. First time I ever saw my old lieutenant shed a tear on duty . They have the American flag on them and FDNY at the bottom."

He exhaled slowly as he sat with her talking.

Colleen gently rubbed his shoulders with her hands knowing this wasn't an easy place for him to go and talk about. She said "That sounds like one amazing woman , I don't know if I could do that and be that strong after losing a child like that."

Billy said" She was. And she didn't over use the word hero with us. She just thanked us for doing our job and keeping people safe and then quietly left. She stood probably all of five foot one and weighed 100 pounds if she was soaking wet. But yet she had more strength that day than some guys at my job do their whole career."

Colleen nodded. "Can I do anything for you right now? Some dessert or maybe a backrub? The doctor told me that you were allowed those if you felt up to one and it may even help you sleep at times."

Billy smiled. "You know what, that does sound good, I haven't had a woman do that for me in a long time and I think I'm overdue for some attention."

Colleen winked at him. "Then attention you shall have Lieutenant Walsh, just lay down on the couch and lift up your shirt for me. I hope you don't mind vanilla , I have some massage oil for you."

Billy said" Vanilla is fine, floral stuff gives me headaches though. "


	29. Twenty Nine

One month later: Billy was feeling good on that particular day so he went by the firehouse to just see the building for a moment. He parked on the opposite side of the street and for a moment sat there in his Jeep to think. Funny how this brick building with the bright red door on front held so much inside it. So many memories. He thought about the first time he had ever entered the front door.

Lieutenant Johnson had greeted him first. " So you must be Walsh, welcome to Squad 55. Not to brag or anything but my guys are the best in the city, and now you are."

Billy had nodded. "Well I hope I can live up to those standards around here. I had some time in the Bronx before here so I have seen other parts of our fine area."

DK was walking by the cooler then and grabbed a Coke. He saw Billy and tossed him the can next to his. " Well the new guy can think fast that's good to see. I'm DK, and you are?"

Billy replied "Billy Walsh, nice meeting you. I think I might be your new partner if you will have me."

DK shrugged slightly. "You'll do let's just see what you've got out there before we make any snappy decisions."

Billy smiled to himself. Ten years now had gone by and they were still a unit. Well until recent events. He stepped out of his Jeep and locked it and decided to walk inside. It would do him good to see the guys right now , he'd missed that and this place. Camelot the corner of King and Arthur. Though there was an ongoing debate between them and the police next door as to who the knights really were somedays. Boscorelli mostly thought he was.


	30. Family Time

He felt butterflies as he moved toward the door slowly. You'd think it was that first day at his new squad all over again and not just returning to the same place where he'd worked all this time. He opened the door hearing its familiar squeak as he did and reminded himself to oil the hinges again soon.

Then he moved toward the staircase and stopped at the wall of honor as they called it. So many faces on it and friends, Bobby Caffey, Alex Taylor, Tommy Doyle. He touched each picture in their glass and wooden frames with his hand gently wanting to remember the faces inside.

His steps were pretty quiet as he climbed the stairs slowly and heard the usual chatter about who was cooking dinner that night, Carlos was scheduled so the guys were ordering in pizza and calzones from Mario's two blocks down.

He stood there for a moment just taking things in quietly near the back of the room.

Then DK looked over and spotted him standing there. " Well hey Lieu good to see you up and around, when you coming back to this fine place." His tone was neutral.

Billy said" I still have another few weeks yet and then they want me on desk only for the time being, glad they are letting me come back at all."

Lombardo said" So we know you got some wicked scars , want to show them off?"

Billy said" Not today Joe, thanks. I'm still healing a few and besides I'm flabby from not being able to hit the gym as hard as I'd like to."

Logan said" Well flabby or not it's damned good to see you around, we were wondering if you were going to hang the helmet up for good or something."

Billy shrugged for a minute. "And do what, play with my cat all day? No the day I leave here I'm going out only one way and it might be kicking and screaming unless I am flat on my back permanently. I wanted to just see the old place and everybody. Johnson called me and invited me to dinner later so I'm takin him up on the offer. Ruth's making lasagna with a royal feast and Kelly's home from college, fall break."

DK said"Ruth always did like going maternal and feeding you when she got the chance. It's nice ." "Tell Cap we said hello, will ya?"

Billy said" Sure Lieu I'll send everybodys regards. I'm sure he will be by for a visit himself soon."

Billy opened a cold Coke and sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. "Today I had an off day from physical therapy too, usually after that I'm too tired to do anything but shower and sleep."

Macnamara said" You still got that lady friend, who is it the detective , cute redhead ?"

Billy smiled. "Yes I do, Colleen is pretty amazing. I'm thinking of asking her to move in with me, she is practically living at my place now most of the time, then who knows maybe I'll finally settle down with someone."


	31. A leaders wisdom

Later that evening: Billy was sitting on the couch in Captain Johnson's den with a rootbeer in his hand. He wasn't allowed alcohol yet for another month.

He said " If I think someone is a better Lieutenant than me , should I tell downtown that I don't want the position back when I start working again?"

Johnson looked at him for a moment. "You sure? I know you do a fine job in a leadership role and I know you would continue to do that ."

Billy said"Recently with all I have been through I just realize there are more important things in my life. Should have been DK anyway in the first place had the department been fair."

Johnson shrugged. "Sounds like your mind is made up, whatever you decide I'll back you on it. Just don't overdo it trying to get back there , your health is more important than the city right now."

Billy said "Thanks Cap for the feedback. I know I can always count on you for some good common sense about the job and or life."

Johnson said" So what else is on your mind? I know something or someone is lately you seem at peace and not as stressed recently."

Billy smiled a bit. "You know me too well, there is a lady in my life who is wonderful and I am thinking about asking her to move in with me, we almost live together now, she's my next door neighbor Colleen Reilly."

Johnson said" Oh the cop, well I'm glad you have someone special Billy. You'll know when it's right, go with your heart."

Billy nodded. "I should probably go thank Ruth for the great meal again and then head out of here, I get tired easy these days with the pain meds and all."

Francis said "I can relate, anyway take care of yourself and feel free to visit anytime . "

Billy stood slowly and patted him on the shoulder. "Thanks for being a good friend Cap."

He replied" Back at you Billy, back at you."


	32. Mr and Mrs William Walsh

Six months later: Saint Joseph's Church on the Upper East Side of Manhattan , New York

Six months later: Saint Joseph's Church on the Upper East Side of Manhattan , New York

Billy stood in one area of the back with a gray suit on and Shawn, DK, Jimmy and Joe Lombardo gathered around him. DK said "So you nervous at all about this , marriage is a big step."

Billy said" Well compared to what I have been through the last year and I had Colleen by my side through all of it this is a walk in the park. I love her and I want her to be my wife."

He smiled and said" I bet she will look beautiful, I wonder what kind of gown she got."

Jimmy said" Let's get you out on that aisle so you can find out Walsh."

In the brides room: Colleen was finishing last minute lip gloss and said " Well do you think he will like me in this? I wanted simple and yet elegant."

Kim said" He won't know what hit him, you look incredible ."

Alex said "Yes she does, now let's not keep him waiting."

Colleen's other friend Abby Carmichael said " Let's go ladies, I think the boys are ready for us." They had emerald green floor length straight bridesmaid dresses on since Billy and Colleen were both Irish.

Colleen took a deep breath and smiled as she looked in the full length mirror one last time. " I'm ready to be Mrs. William John Walsh."

Then there was a knock at the door. Captain Johnson stood there smiling. He said "You look beautiful, I think Billy will be blown away out there."

She said "Thank you for giving me away Captain, I wanted someone special to both of us."

He said "You're welcome , but it's Francis and I am honored, so let's get you married shall we?"


	33. Chapter 33

Nineteen months later:

Angel Of Mercy Maternity Ward, two thirty am. Billy stood beside Colleen as she gave the final push to bring their unborn child into the world. He hadn't wanted to know the babys gender , wanting to be surprised while she had found out . She told him there was an envelope in her top dresser drawer but he hadn't looked.

Just then the doctor held up the baby . "Congratulations Mom and Dad, you have a daughter. She's gorgeous." He handed the baby wrapped in a pink blanket to her mother.

Billy smiled and then kissed his wife. "Honey she looks just like you. Cameron Jayne Walsh welcome to the world."

Colleen said " I am so glad she's here finally, it was killing me not to tell you when I found out that she was a girl. Do you think that Alex would mind that we just used her middle name?"

Billy said "No she wouldn't, she's probably smiling from somewhere right now."

The nurse came over and said" We need to take the little lady and get her cleaned up and into something warm, besides you want to know how much she weighs and everything to tell people right?"

Billy smiled and said" There are a few firefighters and paramedics outside waiting to spoil her I think."

Colleen yawned softly. "Go tell them, she's here , I want to rest a moment. I bet DK spoils her rotten first."

Billy laughed. "Probably unless Cap can get to her. I'll be right back . You did an awesome job baby, I love you." He kissed his wife on the lips and then stepped out into the hall.

The squad was waiting for him and looked tired but excited at the same time. He said "We have a daughter, Cameron Jayne Walsh . She's beautiful. " His eyes filled for a moment.

DK got to his feet first and hugged his friend. "Congrats dad, I am glad she's here."

Captain Johnson said" Nothing like your first one, it just makes you walk higher off the ground a bit.,"

Billy smiled. "I am glad you all were here for us. Thank you and now I want to go back to my family."

Captain Johnson said" See you at work in a few days, we all can't wait to meet her."

Billy said" Look in the nursery, she will be in the front row."


	34. Chapter 34

Years later: Sort of the beginning of a possible sequel if i go there. also AU liek the rest of the story

Cameron Jayne "CJ" Walsh walked into the firehouse. She was finally here after the exhausting training at the fire academy and all the tests , she was going to be a firefighter just like her dad had been. Now he was of course retired and he and mom lived on Long Island at the moment. He had two black labs that were spoiled rotten named Axe and Chief. And he was happy these days around the house and not waking up at all hours of the night for fire calls. Her mom had also retired around the time that her father had.

They were talking about Florida for some of the winter this year. Then she opened the door and walked up a set of stairs painted bright red. She ones at her dads old house had been like that too and they had had a dog or more than one over the years.

She found some men sitting around the table reading the sports and one Asian American woman with them as well. She said "I'm CJ Walsh and i need the lieutenant, this is my first day here."

The woman said " His office is back there , i'm Julie Chang. Those guys are Jenkins, Miller, Boscorelli and Cooper." "Finnegan and Nieto are doinglocker clean up , they are two of our paramedics, the other two Levine and Foster are out on a run."

CJ said" Thanks, see you in a little while."

She went and knocked on the lieutenants door. Then she was surprised when she walked inside. "Joey oh wow i got your squad?"

Lieutenant Joseph Maxwell "Joey" Doherty blinked. "CJ whoa how is this possible, i remember you playing soccer at my parent's picnics years back."

She replied , " I tried a year of junior college and it wasn't for me so then dad and mom gave in and let me be a firefighter. So here i am Lieu."

He said" Yes here you are, now let's look at your paperwork and then get you a locker. Welcome to the 48 Walsh, i know you will do us proud."


	35. Chapter 35

This is many years down the road: the sequel to Shattered with Billy's daughter wanting to be just like her dad and her hero. There is a son named korbin too in this as well. He was adopted as a baby, found at Colleen, Billy's wife's school where she taught in the bathroom one day when CJ was five. They couldn't get pregnant again on their own but they were glad to have one more child to complete the household and family besides three Chesapeake Bay Retriever dogs that Billy wanted.

Later that day: CJ was settling into the firehouse and putting some things into her locker near where the female paramedics had their showers. She had one in their too now it seemed. She put a picture of her family on the metal door with two sided tape and smiled. There that felt more like home. Her mom , dad, and Korbin were with her here. Even if her brother was miles away doing his medical school internship. He wanted to be a surgeon that worked with kids.

She went to her bad and spread out an older blanket of her dads from 9/11 that someone had given him. It had a sky blue background of fleece material and then a fire engine with his old squad 55 on it. He had kept it for a lot of years and then recently her mom had washed it and given it her when she had been assigned a house. She knew it was warm and something that he dad treasured. It felt right that it was back in a firehouse again . She couldn't believe Joey was her boss. That was another layer of family. She wondered how his parents were doing. Oh well in due time she'd find that out and more. Now she just had to fit in here and do the job well. The rest would come in due time. She knew she was good and that she'd make this house proud.


End file.
